Monday, November 29, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #27 -- Lighting Our Path

Our lives are full of many paths laid out before us. Which direction we choose depends on decisions we make during the duration of our lives. We find that many paths do lead to the same outcome, yet others do not. Some paths, though they lead to a common goal, might be longer than another might, but they still meet that common goal.

Now, consider that this path is dark, unclear, muddled in some way, perhaps even distorted. You know you must go forward because there is nothing behind you. The past leads you nowhere. You could stay where you stand right now, living with what you have right now, never changing, just accepting. Oddly though, that in and of itself, is a decision as well. Therefore, it still keeps us moving in a forward motion.

However, we know that our lives require more.

Say that our paths, throughout our lifetime, are illuminated by various kinds of lights. Bright ones, dim ones, various colored ones, warm ones, and cool ones. Some of these lights may glow brightly. Others are steady, consistent glows lighting a smaller portion of our paths. Some lights draw us to them because they may shine brightly or they make us feel secure. Others we avoid because of how they make us feel. Each light has its benefits…and each its own hindrances. We make our decisions to walk down a path based on what we can see on that path. These lights represent people and opportunities that are on each path.

One light burns so brightly, it brings us happiness. It brings us excitement and clarity, making everything visible and plain to see. Nevertheless, a light can only burn so bright and only for a short time then eventually, it burns out, sometimes leaving us in the dark. In most cases, that darkness isn’t long or scary. You just keep moving on until another light illuminates our path. Other times, the darkness is so dark, so muddled, and so scary, we are afraid to move forward. We fear the things that may or may not be in front of us. We fear we’ll walk off our path, perhaps ending our journey.

Off in the distance, we see faint lights that glow, but because we are in the dark, we can’t see how to get to those low glowing places, or that next point in our path.

Then, from nowhere really, you see a dim light moving toward you. The closer it gets, the bigger and brighter it becomes. It brings excitement and joy to your heart, and peace to your soul. You find yourself drawn to it, forgetting the darkness that you stand in. You find yourself rushing for the light that brings you peace. No other light in the distance seems to matter, but that one, that little moving light is the one you need.

You discover that small light is a person who holds a flashlight or lantern, walking his or her own path. They are the ones who stop along the way, getting to know the people who cross their paths. They stop to comfort and encourage us. Often and when necessary, they help us along our paths by guiding, advising, encouraging, or just listening. Sometimes, that person stays with you the whole way, through the bright times and the dark times, always there to shine their light on your path as you walk through life. Sometimes that person changes, and you meet another to walk with you. And sometimes, that person needs you to hold the light whilst they determine their path.

None of us was ever suppose to walk alone. We need our friends, sometimes to guide us, sometimes to carry us, but always to support us and help us see the way.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #26 -- Unwanted

Every day I look to you for reassurances that I know I will never get. A passionate kiss, a stroke, a word, anything, yet you give me nothing.

I have let years pass by, and yet you still do not understand me. You still do not realize how much I need you. You still do not see that I need to know you love me, daily. Maybe you just do not care.

A small kiss in the morning and a forced kiss at night is all you offer. When I say, “I love you, respond” and you respond with, “I love you too” as if for answer… This, to me, is duty, not love.

To know you do not wish to look at me when I stand in front of you, tears me apart deeper than you can imagine. To know you would rather read your book or work your puzzle instead of talking to me, or caress me, or playfully teasing me kills me deep inside.

The teasing you do offer, cuts like a knife, digs deep into my soul and all you say is, “I’m just teasing.”

I cannot tell you how I feel. I cannot tell you of my need. Every time I do, you think I am teasing. You think I am “being silly.” It does not matter that I tell you I have something serious to discuss.

Why does it feel like you no longer want my heart? Just man-up and say you do not love me? Cut me deep. Cut me loose. Let me cry. Let me grow a hard shell around my heart so I can never give it to anyone ever again. At least I would know.

Of course, where we are today, is entirely my fault. I forgot it is always my fault. Apparently, I am too needy for you. I can no longer touch your heartstrings. Perhaps you realized too late that I am not what you really wanted or I do not offer what you need. Too bad, you won’t just talk to me. I am sorry that I cannot read your mind. I really thought I could. I really thought I could be everything you ever wanted. Apparently, it is true I am a failure.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #25 -- Morning Quietness

I lay there in the quietness hearing your soft breath, as you travel deep within your slumber.

You stir – We touch

The soft, slow sounds of your breath, tell tale signs of your deep sleep.

Gently, softly I brush fingertips across your skin. It prickles to my touch, yet your stillness remains.

You stir again.

Gently, softly your fingers brush my skin. Heat rises, desire begs for more.

Your hand finds solace in the valley of my breasts. Softly, steady sounds of sweet contentment rise and fall from your quiescent being.

My touch finds your dreams and draws your hunger to the surface.

Your eyes open to find mine, gazing at your beauty.

Your hand brushes my heated skin once more… softly.

And then, you are gone… a fleeting moment… no more.

I sigh as I watch you walk away from what could have been.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #24 -- Passion Interruptus

Closed in the bedroom of our suite, with no distractions, we found ourselves wrapped in each other’s arms, almost completely aroused and ready for each other. He concentrated on me more, making sure I was ready for him. Marking a trail of kisses down my neck, he stopped near my ear and said, “Want to fuck in front of the open window?”

Surprised by his comment, I drew my head back, looked squarely into his eyes, and gave him an inquisitive look. I started thinking to myself, Oh really. This is odd for him to ask, not to mention do. Oooh, and I love his use of the word ‘fuck’. I realized all this turned me on more. I grinned and said, “Why not! It’ll be fun!” I knew this would be a first for me as well, but something excited me about this new adventure.

He stood there, completely naked, erect and ready for action. He grabbed the curtains, yanking them back one side at a time. I grinned and giggled as he grabbed me and forcefully turned me toward the window. The sun shone brightly through the four-foot wide tinted hotel room window. Looking out the window, construction workers worked diligently on the building across the street and cars drove by cautiously, staying out of the construction zone. I thought to myself, this should be interesting and quite the show. We have never had sex where others could see. I found myself excited even more.

“Mmm,” I purred as his hands reached around me. Finding my breasts, he began to rub them gently, kneading them as if they were clay. Soon, his gentle demeanor became aggressive as he pulled me back to his chest abruptly. One arm held me firmly as his hand cupped my breast. Reaching his other hand down, he ran his fingers between my legs. “Mmm, you are wet,” he whispered closely in my ear. His lips touched my ear and the breath from his whisper made me tingle that much more as he pressed his hard body against me.

Pushing me forward into the window, my hands reactively reach out for the window frame to keep me from going through the window. I gasped as he grabbed my hips firmly. With his leg, he swept my feet apart, then reached up to my arms and ran his hands down my body. My breath caught and my skin prickled as his fingertips brushed the outsides of my breasts and trailed down to my waist. Leaning over me, his right hand reached around my stomach and trailed upwards, cupping my breast again. His other hand reached around and found my wetness. Yearning for him, I pressed myself against his hardness. At the same time, he lunged himself deep within me.

I began panting, moaning, as he pumped harder and faster into me. Each thrust plunged deep causing me to scream out, “Oh. My. God! Yes!!!” As I felt myself just on the edge of orgasm, the bedroom door swung open. The sound of the door hitting the doorstop caused me to jump, lunge for a blanket on the bed, to cover up. Our son walked in as if we were not in the room. He walked to the luggage, and striped off his clothes.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled at him. “Get the fuck out of here!” I continued to scream.

Completely aghast, his eyes wide as saucers, he covered his nakedness with his hands. “Ahhh!” He screamed out completely surprised to see that we were there. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He continued to yell. He began to back out of the room when my eyes caught his glance. I looked to see what he was looking at, only to see my husband standing there in all his glory sporting the hardest wood I had ever seen. Seeing that we were indisposed, our son blushed crimson, turned around and ran out the door.

Completely upset, angered, and frustrated, I sprinted to the bathroom. I felt hysteria grip me, and now could no longer bring the mood back to finish what we had started. As I began to tell my husband that, he needed to speak to his son about this intrusion, I awoke and realized this was just a dream.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #23 -- Being Me

It’s not easy being me,
Grew up awkward as can be.

I’m no drop dead diva,
No prima donna mama.

One of the boys
I tried to be.

I ran with my shirt off,
Climbed up trees.

Learned to whistle loudly,
And how to spit real far.

Hot headed, short fused,
My mouth learns to spew.

My imagination,
It’s one to be desired.

Yeah, that’s me…

My beauty comes from within,
It’s more than just skin deep.

I’ll talk to anyone.
Just let me in.

I hand out advice,
Even if you ask real nice.

I hug you, squeeze you, and call you my own.

Yeah, that’s me…

Monday, August 30, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #22 -- Fence of Emotion

Sitting on a fence of emotion, one side gloriously positive, the other its opposite, one push and I fall. One day a kind word, a touch, a kiss sends me sailing, floating, fluttering inside. The next an unpleasant sigh, a harsh word, a mean look, I falter, falling, diving into a tailspin of despair.

You send me soaring to one side or the other, like an emotional barometer. Your words, your touch, your tenderness send the mercury of my heart into soaring highs or diving lows.

My heart holds on to each emotion as if no other can replace it. But each minute, hour, day, holds something new.

There are two sides to everything. Choices to be made. Will you make the mercury of my heart soar? Or will you cause my heart to sink?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #21 - Diabolic Eminence

Off in the distance is a rumble
The ground shakes, rolls, and mumbles.

Clouds float through the skies
Cruising on great highs.

Lightning cracks, sizzles, sears
Eyes see, ears hear.

The sky concedes to lightning’s strikes
Floods of tears fall from its might.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #20 -- Fighting the Monsters

A monster looms, sitting on my mind’s shoulder as a gargoyle lurking, ready for attack. Just the right ingredients of emotion and he flies off to try to conquer my mind. Like a vulture he sits, waiting for the right thought, the right sigh, or the right feeling to arise.

It sits there stroking that last nerve that sends one into contemplation of self. Silence looms in my mind and he begins whispering his lies of malcontent. “You have been forgotten. *Haha!* Nobody cares how you feel! *HeHeHe* Oh, he forgot to say good-bye. Oh dear, he must not care for you. *Haha*” He jests and laughs, hoping it will draw me deeper into the darkness of my mind.

*Sigh* “Maybe I’m just a bad friend. Or, maybe no one really cares. Maybe I am alone.” I begin repeating the lies that darken my thoughts.

I fight back, first ignoring the malignant lies. I explain inside my mind that this is merely loneliness working hand in hand with some paranoia. Two nasty monsters that loom in the back of my mind, hoping that one day I might believe their garbage. However, sometimes talking to myself is not enough. Their darkness presses in.

Turning on music, I am intent on washing away the darkness that shrouds my mind. At least with music blaring, my thoughts are at bay. Dancing, swaying, bouncing to the tunes, the monsters run away. They don’t like my happiness. It acts like a wet blanket that puts out their flames. However, this only lasts as long as the playlist runs. Once again, I hear the whispers, the lies. I feel as if I’m missing something… something critical.

Sleep sometimes helps, but then am I not just running away from the inevitable? Will I not have to face this monster once again? Won’t it just invade my dreams?

A sound comes from my phone a text message arrives. “Hey bb! Hope you’re having a good day, *hugs*” I close my eyes and imagine the warmth of that hug. Like sunshine on my face, it pushes the loneliness away. I smile knowing that I am not alone and someone does care.

I grin at the monsters, pushing them further and further away. “You can’t have me this time! I win!” I watch as the warmth flows through me shining through the shroud that threatens to steal my joy and happiness.

I remember the words of Lewis Carrol:
“One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.”
I remind myself that I must keep myself busy and wield MY vorpal blade, writing, working, reading, and chatting with friends. These are just a few ways to keep the gargoyles from ruining my day!

It’s my turn to pay forward. I reach out to a friend and send a hug along, hoping to push their darkness away too.

**Hugs!** Let that be your sword to fight back the darkness!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Awakened - Chapter 3

“Peter, Peter, Peter,” Christoph chuckled as he opened the door. “What can I do for you, sir?”

Peter giggled at his father's use of the word 'sir'. “You’re silly Dad!” Peter nearly tackled Christoph with a great big hug. “It’s good to see you Daddy.” His hug showed Christoph just how much Peter had truly missed him.

Christoph grabbed hold of Peter and gave him one big hug. It felt like a lifetime since he had hugged so tightly. Christoph held him and breathed in his scent. “It’s good to see you too son. I missed you too! Now, what is it that I can do for you?” He let him go from his embrace.

Peter hung his head and said, “Um, I was just lonely and wondered where Momma was. I’m kind of hungry and wondered if I could have a snack.”

Christoph rested his hand atop Peter’s head, “Hmm, snack huh? Well first, you have to do something for me.” Peter looked inquisitive. “First, you need to tell me what time it is, because I’m just not sure.”

Peter smiled then darted into the kitchen and looked at the clock radio. “Its 3:30, Dad!” Resting his hands on his hips, he blurted out with a huff, as if Christoph should have known already.

Laughing, Christoph shook his head and replied, “Not that clock! That clock is digital and doesn’t teach you how to tell time! Next time, I want to you use this!” He pulled out a watch from his pocket and handed it to Peter. “I saw this at a shop whilst I was away this last time. It kept speaking to me. Want to know what it said?” Peter’s eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously. Christoph sat on a chair in the kitchen and pulled Peter closer to himself. He put the watch on his wrist, and quietly murmured into Peter’s ear, “It said, ‘I would like to be Peter’s watch. Get me for Peter.’”

Peter giggled, “No it didn’t Dad!”

“It didn’t? How do you know? You see Goofy right there. Maybe it was his voice I heard.” Peter looked intently at his new Goofy watch then he placed his ear on the face, ‘Tick, tick, tick’ was all he heard.

“I don’t hear Goofy Dad,” he whispered.

Christoph could not help but laugh. “Peter, where are Goofy’s hands pointing on the watch?”

Looking intently once again, Peter said, “The short hand is between the three and the four, and the long one is on the seven.”

“So do you know what time that is?” Christoph asked.

Peter used his pointer finger from his right hand and began pointing at each number whilst counting by fives, “Five, ten, fifteen …” He counted to thirty-five, and then proudly announced, “Thirty-five minutes after three! Three thirty-five!”

“Good job, my man! Give me five!” He held his hand out waiting for Peter to slap his hand, which Peter took as an invitation to slap his hand hard. ‘Smack!’

“Well Peter, what this means is that dinner is closer now and having a big snack is probably out of the question, so, how’s about a small one? Hmm, let me think…Want to share an apple with me?” Peter nodded his head in affirmation. “Ok, go get me an apple and I’ll cut it up for both of us.” Peter went to the refrigerator, opened the door, and picked the biggest reddest apple he could find. He walked to the sink, turned the cold water on, and began to wash the apple off. He then took his apple to the cutting board on the counter. “One second, Pete.” Christoph grabbed the sponge and spray cleaner and quickly sprayed the counter down. Then he set the cutting board down. “There we go! Let’s cut this.” Christoph cut up the apple into eighths. He put four in a bowl for Peter and put four in a second bowl for himself. Then he went to the refrigerator again grabbed the Peanut Butter and spooned out a big spoonful in his own bowl then offered Peter a spoonful. Peter nodded his head again, affirming his desire for Peanut Butter.

As Peter began to eat his snack at the table, he began to wonder why his dad was being so silly and happy. Shrugging it off to himself, he took another bite and stared at Goofy’s hands on his watch. He loved Goofy very much and was elated to have his favorite cartoon character on his wrist. His grin grew on his face as he put his apple down and wrapped his arms around his dad. “Thanks for the watch Dad. I love it.” He kissed his dad on the cheek with mushy Peanut Butter kiss.

They both laughed as Christoph wiped the Peanut Butter from his cheek. “You’re welcome buddy… now go finish your snack before your mom comes out and notices that I’ve just spoiled your appetite.” Peter went back to eating his snack.

* * * * *

“Slam!” The screen door shut hard and tight at the front door. Peter jumped up startled at the sound. Christoph looked in the direction of the front door. Andrew ran through the door shouting, “Pete! Pete! Where are you?”

Peter waved his Peanut Butter covered hand, “In the kitchen!”

Andrew barreled through the house, excited to see Peter. “Dude! C’mon outside. We need another player for ‘Capture the Flag!’”

In all the excitement, Christoph stood up and reached for Andrew. “Hey, Andrew, don’t you say hi to your ol’ dad.”

“Oh... Hey Dad, when did you get home?” His excitement diminished a bit as he realized his father was home.

“Well, I’ve been home all day. I was working in my office today.”

Andrew stood there puzzled. He remembered when he came home, peeking through his father’s office doorway. “Hmm, I looked in your office when I came home. I didn’t see you in there.” He shrugged his shoulders, believing perhaps that his father was just teasing him.

Christoph explained, “Well, I wasn’t in my office when you came home. I have been in there working all day, though. I had decided on a break for a bit when you boys came home. Eh, why am I explaining all this to you?” He smirked and then ruffled Andrew’s hair.

Andrew shrugged his shoulders and attempted to rake his mussed hair back into place. “I don’t know, just seems like you’re not around much anymore.”

Christoph began to feel guilty for being gone so much. His business had taken him away from his family more than he expected. Sitting there at the table, he tried to gather his thoughts, but he kept hearing Andrew’s words echo through his head. “Well, Andrew…” he lingered as he tried to formulate his thoughts. He took his bowl of apple slices and offered it to Andrew. “This new job I have may not be fun for the family, right now, but I hope that in the near future I can be home more often.” Christoph was not certain how much explanation he needed to ease his boys’ minds. Taking a moment longer, he then drummed his fingers on the table and gave Andrew a hug. “I’m sorry I’ve not been around. These last few weeks have been hard for me too.”

Andrew had become bitter. Standing there in his father’s embrace, he could not hug back. His feelings were hurt and he was concerned for his mother’s loneliness, but he would not let his father know his thoughts. Not now, not yet. “Uh, yeah Dad, I got some friends waiting for me outside… We need to go. C’mon Pete.” He strode away from his dad, grabbed Peter by the arm and walked out the front door.”

“Hey, wait a sec!” Christoph shouted. “Be back in an hour to check in with your mom!”

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.” Andrew waved his hand as if trying to erase a bad memory.

Christoph leaned against the kitchen doorjamb and let out a deep sigh. It was then he realized that he had some serious issues to deal with at home. It was as if his eyes opened from a dream and revealed the loss of his family. Yes, he still lived there. Yes, he was still married to the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Yes, he had two wonderful boys. But, to Christoph, it felt as if they no longer saw him as husband and father, but as a passer-by, a stranger, living in the same home, but not in their lives. So many things were different and distant. Yet because of his work, his choice was to ignore things at home until he could get his workload leveled out and under control. The only problem… his workload never did level out. He was constantly working toward the next deadline, the next emergency, the next catastrophe.

Pulled from his thoughts, Christoph heard a loud crash, tinkle and then the cat screaming and hissing to the commotion outside. Christoph ran out the back door to investigate. As he exited the door, he spotted their grey cat, Schrödinger, scampering away from a pile of glass and humming bird food on the ground. Schrödinger had apparently attempted to catch a hummingbird but missed terribly, knocking the feeder off its hook.

Christoph went back into the kitchen to find a broom. “Where the hell does she keep the broom?” He mumbled himself as he looked in every cupboard throughout the kitchen.

The bedroom door opened, drawing Christoph’s attention from his search. Laurel walked out the door and glanced up to see Christoph frustrated from rifling through the cupboards. “What’s up babe? Did you lose something?” She grinned at him, knowing that he was out of his element there in the kitchen.

Christoph now flustered, answered, “I’m just looking for the broom! It seems Schrödinger has made a mess of the hummingbird feeder. I was going to sweep it up before you came out here.”

“Oh no! I loved that feeder. Darn that cat!” Reaching in the corner, next to the door, Laurel grabbed the broom and dustpan and began to walk out the door.

Christoph dashed to her side and grabbed the broom and dustpan from her hands. “Here, I can handle it!" He then continued out the door and began to sweep up the broken pieces of glass outside. She stood there, stunned that he had taken the tools swiftly and abruptly from her hands.

Laurel watched as he swept through the sticky, syrupy mess. She found it appealing to watch him maneuver the mess into one pile and then bend to scoop it up into the dustpan. She tried to remember the last time she had seen Christoph clean up anything. She could not. As she stood there deep in her thoughts watching, it occurred to her that she could help by getting the garden hose to spray down the sticky mess.

Walking to the back of the house, Laurel untangled the garden hose, stretching it out so that she could use it where Christoph was working. She then returned to the spigot and turned the water on full blast. Laurel’s eyes widen as she watched the garden hose take on a life of its own, spraying water everywhere. Quickly, she ran to capture the nozzle end. The wicked hose had sprayed and soaked her as she reached out to grab the sprayer. Disengaging the sprayer, Laurel stood there dripping wet and in shock. She looked up at Christoph who was rolling in laughter at her demise.

Not appreciating Christoph’s laughter, Laurel took the sprayer nozzle pointed it at him and squeezed the trigger firmly. “That’s for laughing at me!” She shouted at Christoph. The water found its target completely soaking Christoph from head to toe. Christoph dropped the broom and ran toward Laurel as she continued to spray him.

Realizing that she had just drenched Christoph, Laurel let out a squeal and began laughing. She turned quickly and began to run with the garden hose in tow, spraying him as she ran. Christoph pursued her until she had run out of hose. Then like a lion playing with its prey, he stalked closer to her, making certain she could not get away.

“You drenched me, you wicked minx! Why did you do that?” He asked, as his devious smile grew bigger on his face.

Laurel’s eyes grew big and round as she readied herself for another escape. “I didn’t mean to soak you!” She replied with a giggle, “I just meant to... uh… startle you. You laughed at me!”

“Seeing the look on your face after being hosed down by the ‘wild’ garden hose was pretty entertaining!” By now, Christoph was rolling in laughter as he reenacted what he saw only moments earlier.

Laurel feinted left then ran right in an attempt to dodge Christoph. Seeing her deceptive dodge, Christoph ran after her. “I swear… I’m going to get that hose and soak you down! We’ll see how you like that.” Christoph laughed manically with his threat. Finally, Christoph found his opportunity and cut across the yard. Leaping forward, he grabbed at Laurel, hooking his arms around her waist and tackling her to the ground. He finally reached out, grabbed the hose from her hands, and pointed the nozzle right at her.

“No! No! No! It was an accident!” Laurel squirmed and laughed as she tried to convince Christoph. “I. Am. So. Sorry.” She giggled and snorted trying to get the words out, “I was just trying to help you clean up!”

“Here let me help clean YOU up.” Christoph squeezed the sprayer, spraying Laurel all the way down her body. Laurel screamed at the cold water completely drenching her fresh clothes. She guarded her face with her hands, hoping to keep the spray from getting in her eyes. She tried as hard as she could to wriggle free, but Christoph lay on her legs, pinning her to the ground.

Christoph saw that Laurel was covering her face from the spray. So, he took the opportunity, to swiftly and simultaneously grab her pants and the sprayer nozzle and spray the water into her pants. “Nooo!” Laurel screamed. “Chris! These are fresh clothes!”

By now, Laurel began to get upset. She had no place to go, was completely helpless, and now completely well soaked. All she could do was hit Christoph in the head with her hands. So, she began swinging. This was no longer fun!

One hit to the head and Christoph realized he had taken his fun too far. He tossed the sprayer nozzle away and held onto Laurel as she squirmed. He laid his head on her cold, wet stomach, trying to calm her down. Laurel grabbed two fists full of hair and pulled hard. “Whoa baby! Easy Laurel! I’m sorry! Ouch!” He exclaimed. Freeing himself from her grasp, he rolled off her and let her up.

Just his weight removed from her legs helped Laurel to let go of all her pent up anxiety and breathe. She jumped to her feet and looked squarely at Christoph not sure of what she wanted to say. She was so upset with what had happened. Standing there, she first put her hands on her hips. That felt wrong so she fidgeted more then crossed her arms in front of herself. That was when she realized that there was a cool breeze blowing and she was freezing cold.

“Uh, baby? Are you ok?” Christoph cajoled. He reached out to touch her leg. “I’m sorry, baby.”

Lauren took a deep breath and let it out a loud blast of air. “Yes. I’ll be fine.” She stated. “I don’t like being pinned like that, I guess.”

“Come here.” He reached up to take her hand. Laurel took it and came back down to Christoph in the grass. He took her waist in his hands and drew her to him. “Let me try to warm you up.”

Laurel straddled Christoph’s hips and sat on him saying, “I’m not cold.”

Christoph looked up at Laurel. Her arms rippled with goose bumps from the cool blowing breeze. She wore a white t-shirt, which clung to her skin. Her tan skin showed through her wet t-shirt. Her nipples were visibly firm, her breasts round and tempting. He reached up cupping both breasts gently in his hands. He drew circles around her nipples with his thumbs, occasionally stroking over the tips. “You sure look cold to me.” He grinned. “Maybe you are just glad to see me.” He smirked. He reached inside her wet shirt and found her breasts once more. He continued rubbing and kneading her breasts. He took her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, pinching firmly and then starting all over again.

Each stroke, each squeeze, and each pinch caused Laurel’s breath to hitch. She could feel her breast harden more then they were from the cold. “Oooh, you naughty boy!” She exclaimed, pushing into the motions his hands made. The pleasure she felt caused her to rock on Christoph’s groin.

Leaning down to Christoph, Laurel’s lips found his. Her tongue searched to gain entrance into his mouth. She gently sucked in his lower lip and bit down. Christoph moaned. Laurel placed her hands in Christoph’s hair using it to pull her cold, wet, perky body across his chest. They kissed again. This time both gained access to the other. Their tongues danced together as their bodies began their telltale signs of desire.

“No, you call out to them!” Peter whispered to Andrew.

“No way! You call out to them. They won’t get mad at you!” Andrew said in a not so quiet voice.

Hearing the boys arguing, Christoph and Laurel snapped their heads up to see where the boys were. Using each other to cover their evidence of intimate behavior, Laurel smiled and said, “What’s up boys? Is there something you need?”

“Dad said to be back in an hour for dinner.” Andrew explained.

Laurel looked down to Christoph for an explanation. Christoph just shrugged. “Oops. I lost track of time I guess. Uh, let’s see… Could one of you go grab a towel for Mom? I think she’s cold.” He smirked at Laurel.

Peter replied, “I will daddy. Be right back.” Off he ran through the back door, into the house. Within a minute or two, Peter ran out the door again, running toward Laurel and Christoph with a huge beach towel bunched up on his head. “Here you go mom!”

Taking the towel, Laurel wrapped herself up and started for the house. Looking at Christoph, she grinned and said, “I guess I need to go get MORE dry clothes on. See you inside.” Off she strode.

Napkin Scrawls #19 -- Another Strange Dream

Burning my candle at both ends to try and get my work done, only makes for the strangest dreams in my head. Check this one out.

I lay down to take a nap for about an hour….

There is sand all around. Apparently, I’m sitting in a Saharan desert of sorts. Two friends and I were to clean out these round pottery pots that were dirty and some were full of sand. I was familiar with this job and had been doing it for a while. I knew that snakes could be in the pots, so I cautioned my friends to be careful.

Suddenly, I heard one friend scream loudly & I saw a pot fly though the air. She then ran after the pot, and took it into a corner with a stick or twig to do something with it. Finally, I ran over to check on her. She was shaking, her eyes were huge saucers, and she was scared shitless. I asked her what was wrong. She slowly brought out the stick and said, "I found a snake."

She brought the 'snake' into view for me to see. It was a centipede.

Looking at her I exclaimed, “That’s not a snake!”

Realizing they had no idea what a snake was, I went over to my truck, turned the engine on so that my laptop could have some juice. I googled snakes, and while adjusting my laptop for them to see, I some how shifted my truck into gear. It took off down the road, accelerating to full speed.

Suddenly, I'm on the wrong side of the freeway driving 75 mph into a construction zone that bottlenecks down to one lane! I’m panicked, trying to navigate through traffic that is coming at me, and hoping avoid a pile up in the single lane streaming with cars!

I fumbled with the accelerator and managed to get the truck slowed down. I moved over to the one open lane, and find that I can U-turn to go back on the freeway. However, I find that this too is the wrong side of the freeway to go home.

Just then, my alarm goes off and I realize this was yet another wild ride in my mind. Before I am able to awake fully, I realized that some how I had ended up on the correct side of the road.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #18 -- Desert Storms

Temperatures reach the triple digits on a daily basis. Today was no different. Taking time from my daily routine, I sit on the back porch admiring how quickly the angry black clouds moved in. A steady breeze blows the scent of rain across my face. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply.

The air becomes still as a loud crack and rumble reverberate through the sky. As I recline back in my chair with the soles of my feet against a supporting pillar, the thunder reminds me of its immense power as I feel the vibration through my feet.

Soon, sprinkles of fresh rain tickle the tops of my feet as it begins to fall. I curb the temptation to move from the porch to the center of my yard. The sprinkles are so refreshing, but the danger of lightning still abounds. No flash appears, yet the sky grumbles and moans as if in pain or angry at lightning’s strike, ripping and tearing through it.

The breeze stops again before the sky moans and grumbles with one last roll of thunder. Deafening silence consumes the air again.

The storm moves further north, and as fast as it began, it ends. Blue skies peek from the angry clouds.

Lightning claws its way through the clouds and sky with thunder as its voice. “I’m not done!” It seems to scream. Yet, just like the rest of the storm, it too vanishes and moves on.

Maybe on another day, the rain will stay longer, washing the dirt and grime away.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Awakened - Chapter 2

Lost in the afterglow of the moment, the music on Laurel’s iPod changed. Nickelback played, “S.E.X.” Both started laughing as they listened to the explicit lyrics, which described the feelings they both felt at that very moment.

Laurel kissed Christoph then stroked his nose with her finger, “What brought this … surprise on?”

Christoph shrugged and replied, “Not sure exactly. I heard music from my office so I decided to check it out. I saw you there dancing and swaying to the music, and was enjoying the scenery.”

“Hmm… I should turn it on more often!” Laurel smirked and snuggled closer.

“Mmm… The music or the scenery?” He snickered.

Shouts came from the front of the house, “Hey Mom! We’re home!”

Laurel looked at the clock and then at Christoph. “Uh, oops! School’s out.” Laurel squeaked. “They must have taken the school bus.” She shrugged.

Both giggled and snorted as Christoph grabbed pieces of his clothing from the floor and darted for their bedroom. Laurel slid off the counter, found her shredded panties and quietly whispered for Christoph, “Psst, Chris!” Christoph stopped, turned toward Laurel, and gave her an inquisitive look. Laurel laughed seeing Christoph with a bare ass and a pile of clothes covering his front. “Can you take these too?” She held up her torn panties, walked toward the front of the house, and handed them to him. Christoph looked at her panties, then at her and with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face, took her panties between his teeth, and started toward the bedroom once again.

The kids came running to Laurel excited from their long day. Seeing them coming, Laurel stepped far enough into the next room to allow Christoph a clean get way. Both kids grabbed their mom in a giant hug and greeted her with excitement.

“We looked for you Mom when school let out, but when we didn’t see you, we hopped on the bus,” her oldest son Andrew exclaimed.

“I’m glad you remembered what to do and took responsibility to get it done. Great job, son.” She patted the boys on the back. “Now, let’s make sure you put your stuff away then you can go outside and play for a little while. Then we will see what you have for homework. How does that sound?” Both boys were excited to hear that they could play first then do their homework. They ran off to their rooms to deposit their book packs, and quickly ran back outside to play.

Laurel made sure they were gone before she turned to head back to her bedroom. On her way through the kitchen, she grabbed her iPod. “Maybe I can play this in our bedroom,” She thought to herself as she opened her bedroom door.

Walking into the bedroom, she saw Christoph lying on their bed, completely naked, still holding her shredded panties in his teeth. Propped up on his right side, he watched her reaction as she walked in the door. Laurel giggled loudly at the sight of her panties still between his teeth. It was not as if Laurel had never seen her husband in the buff before, but after what had just occurred earlier, she found herself blushing. “Mmm, he looks so yummy lying there.” She thought to herself as she smiled deviously. “It would be nice to have more of that!”

Closing and locking the door, Laurel walked over to her dresser on the other side of the room. She reached in her drawer for another pair of panties. As she began to put them on, Christoph sat up and whispered, “Hey baby, come over here and sit next to me.”

Laurel giggled coyly, “I have to finish the dishes and the kids are home now.”
“So! Do the dishes later. The kids will be fine. They are outside playing, right?” Christoph held out his hand for hers. She walked over and took his hand. Christoph tugged Laurel closer to himself. As Laurel moved close enough to him, he grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her down to him. She giggled and followed his motion by straddling him. She sat on his lap, leaned down, and kissed him passionately on the lips. Her tongue searched for entrance into his mouth. Feeling her tongue brush his lips, he opened his mouth and allowed the kiss to deepen.

“Mmm… Now that is nice,” Christoph spoke as they ended their kiss. Laurel leaned in again, this time kissing his neck and coming back up to his mouth once more, then slowly back down the other side of his neck. She began to rock her hips as she leaned back to kiss more deeply. The taste of each other lingered on their lips. Each kiss screamed for another. Laurel sucked his bottom lip into hers and bit down gently. “Ooo, feisty! I love when you’re feisty” Christoph responded in kind, playing at her lips.

Reaching his hand between her legs, Christoph ran his thumb over her opening and up over her clit. Laurel gasped. Closing her eyes, she began to push herself into him. She looked down into his eyes, “Mmm, you naughty boy… what are you up to? I thought you just wanted to, um talk.” He gently rubbed her clit again, this time pressing his thumb into her opening.

She licked her lips and leaned down to kiss his chest. She ventured a trail of kisses down his abdomen stopping at his navel to indulge her tongue. Christoph whimpered as she ran her tongue down his treasure trail, only to retrace her trail back to his chest. Finding his nipple, she gently bit down. Christoph moaned, feeling the sharpness of her teeth on his skin. Again, he stroked her nub with his thumb, and then gently he pinched it between his thumb and forefinger. “You like that huh?” Christoph murmured as he stroked her again. Feeling how wet she was he slowly pushed one finger through her opening, drawing it out again to stroke her again. He enjoyed watching his wife as he stroked her, bringing her closer to climax.

“Oooh, Yes!” she panted as she now began to grind herself into Christoph.

Christoph pulled his hand away, grinning, “Oh then maybe I should stop?” He teased her now, waiting to see what she would do.

“Oooh, noo! Don’t stop!” Laurel made a pouty face, whined, but kept grinding into Christoph’s now growing manhood. “Now that’s more like it.” She grinned when she felt him growing hard.

Christoph reached around and untied Laurel’s dress. Laurel pulled it over her head and discarded it. While she was removing her dress, she felt Christoph running his hands up her stomach to her breasts then back down. Feeling his touch on her skin made her skin tingle. As her nipples harden, Christoph sat up and began to kiss her breasts. He wrapped his arms around her waist, took her nipple into his mouth, and sucked.

Laurel’s breath hitched and she began to gyrate in his lap. Running her fingers through his hair, she grabbed two handfuls of his hair and yanked his head back. Christoph winced in pain, but the pain turned him on more. He dug his nails into her ass as he began to pull her toward himself and grind his manhood over her opening. She moaned and pushed him back onto his back, then leaned into his face and found his mouth with hers. Her tongue found his as their kiss deepened once again. He moaned into her mouth as her breasts pushed into his chest, back and forth, as she continued to gyrate and grind on his lap.

Christoph grabbed her hips, pushed her up, and guided her onto his thick hard erection. Laurel let out a loud moan as she felt him enter her opening. She began to grind herself harder as he pushed up into her core. Christoph loved to watch Laurel come when she was on top, but this time he was feeling more aggressive. He grabbed her once again; this time flipped her on her back and began to drive harder until they both came together.

Christoph collapsed on Laurel. Both were exhausted and covered in sweat. Once Laurel could catch her breath, she said, “Wow! What that was awesome! What came over you babe? You were an animal!” She giggled as Christoph rolled off her and onto one side. He lightly ran his fingers over her nipples as the perspiration began to pool between her breasts.

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, “I’ve missed you. Watching you reminds me of how much I miss you. Plus, you are so sexy baby. You really turn me on!”

Laurel cuddled next to Christoph, but his words struck a chord in her mind. Her thoughts took over as she began wondering why today was so different. She had begun to worry that their marriage had become so predictable & boring. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was the reason for the monotony in their relationship. Sex seemed only to happen on weekends, because during the week one or the other was just too busy or too tired. This was a highly unusual circumstance. She wanted to ask him why the change, but was afraid she would erase the euphoria they were in. She kept it to herself. “Perhaps we’ll talk later.” She thought to herself.

Hearing a knock at the door drew Laurel back from her inner monologue. “Momma, can I come in? It’s me Peter.” Peter was their youngest son. He was soon to be 9 years old, but still kept the roll as the baby in the family. He was such a momma’s boy at times. Sometimes, his dependency drove Laurel nuts, like now when she really wanted to lay there next to Christoph and snuggle.

“NO!” Both Christoph and Laurel answered together. Then they laughed at each other’s response. They trusted that Peter wouldn’t open the door, but just in case, Laurel answered, “Sweetie, we’ll be out in a little bit. I’m going to get some dinner together in a little while. Okay?”

“Um, okay, but why are you in your room?” Peter asked. Laurel looked to Christoph and stifled a giggle. Christoph pulled her into his embrace and held her close.

Christoph spoke loudly, “Hey, Pete, we’re resting right now. I’ll be out in a little bit to help you. I think momma has some stuff she needs to do in here. Now, go on and get your homework done. Okay?”

“Okay Dad.” Peter answered. “I’m hungry though.”

“Okay, be there in a little bit.” Christoph repeated.

He leaned in and kissed Laurel on the lips, then whispered softly, “Why don’t you take a little nap, or take a nice soak in the tub. I’ll take care of the boys. Then we can make some dinner together.” Laurel looked completely surprised. “What? You don’t think I can manage?” Christoph asked with a smirk on his face.

“Um, no. It’s not that,” Laurel began. “It’s just unexpected. Um, thank you, but maybe I’ll just take a quick shower and then make some dinner.”

“Okay my love, if you insist. I’ll see you soon.” Christoph kissed Laurel once more, then got out of bed and put his pants on. Walking to the dresser, he grabbed a black t-shirt out of the drawer and pulled it over his head. The t-shirt fit his chest snuggly, which brought a grin to Laurel’s face. Christoph has such a lovely physique. Laurel never tired of watching him.

With that, Christoph blew Laurel a kiss and walked out the door.

Laurel lay there on the bed a little longer, enjoying the quiet peaceful moment. Her thoughts went back to the incredible sex they had just experienced, not just once, but twice. She tried to remember the last time they climaxed twice in one night together. It was so uncommon any more. She had a tough time recalling. She then decided it must have been the first few years of their marriage, because ever since the boys were born, they had to plan around their boys’ sleep schedules. This made everything more predictable and less spontaneous. She found she really like surprises like this.

Letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, she decided it was time to get showered and start her night time routine. She headed into the bathroom and turned the shower on to let the water heat up. Looking into the mirror, she saw her hair in its matted, bed head mess, and giggled. “I guess it’s a good thing he went to help the kids and not me.”

Shaking her head as she stared in the mirror, she kept reminiscing to herself about fantastically giddy she felt. “Damn, the sex was fantastic!” The words rang out, but could not nearly describe her giddiness and satisfaction she now felt as she stood there staring into the mirror. With a huge grin on her face, she found herself wishing this could happen more often.

Turning to the shower, she stepped in and immersed herself under the stream of warm water. “Ah, this is wonderful,” she said, as she stood, soaking in the hot steamy shower. Leaning against the shower wall, she let the water stream down her body. The rivulets of water washed over her skin, causing her skin to goose bump at first. Soon, it began to soothe and relax allowing her mind to begin racing again with thoughts of “why” and “what is different.” As she began to lather her hair, she started wondering if she should talk with Christoph. At the very least, maybe she should ring her girlfriend on the phone and see what her opinion would be. She giggled at the thought of calling her friend. Even though she felt serious concern, she still felt that ‘schoolgirl’ hype that made all girls want to share about the new boy they had a crush on.

Rinsing off and finishing her shower, she thought the wiser and decided this time, she would see how the night and days to come carried on. “Perhaps this is just random,” she thought to herself, “No need to get all paranoid.”

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #17 -- Barreling down the Road...

Stretched out and fast asleep in the back of my SUV, I’ve set the autopilot for my destination. “Ah,” I think to myself, “I’m so exhausted. I’ll just curl up in the back here and sleep and still have plenty of time to get where I need to be.”

The vibration and motion my SUV makes me sleep peacefully as I’m taken to my final destination. Turning over, I stretch. My dog is at my side, snoozing right along with me. I hear no noise, just nice and smooth travel whilst I sleep.

“Huh? Wait! Where am I?” Looking out the SUV windows, I see my SUV has jumped the median. I’m speeding along at 70 m.p.h. crossing both sides of the freeway. “Oh, Shit!” I shout aloud. Commando crawling from the back of the SUV toward the front, I begin to panic. Shaking off the sleep, I come to my senses, “What the fuck was I thinking! Calm down… calm down…”

The crawl is hard to do in a bouncing SUV. I’m still barreling forward at high speed. ‘Thump, thump, thump.’ The SUV is back on the freeway on the correct side… I sigh deeply. Squeezing between the front seats, I grab the steering wheel. I swerve erratically through the lanes as I try to get the last bit of my legs through the seats.

Finally, I have accomplished my crawl from the back and am sitting in the driver’s seat. I realize there is no autopilot. “Crap! I need to keep going! I hope no cops saw me.”

‘Beep, beep, beep.’ ‘Beep, beep, beep’

“Huh?” I glance up and realize my phone is going off. I pick it up to answer, “Oh, shit! Wow! It’s only a dream!”

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Awakened - Chapter 1

Laurel stood in the kitchen staring out the window, watching two humming birds flit about the feeder as she filled the sink with water for her next load of dishes. Chores were not an issue for Laurel, but cleaning the kitchen was not one of her favorites. Like all the others, she made it a part of her daily routine. She liked to have everything clean and in its proper place when she got up in the mornings.

As Laurel stared out the window, she began to feel the weight of the day come down on her shoulders. She had many things that needed her attention, for her list was long. Her husband, Christoph had tucked himself away in his office, and was working on some project for his work that she really did not care to know about. Standing here at the counter, watching the bird feeder, had its peaceful relaxing undertones that would help her gather her thoughts for the rest of the day.

The house was more or less quiet for a change. There were no kids yelling in the background and no blaring televisions or music. If she stood real still and turned the water off, Laurel could hear the flutter of the hummingbirds’ wings as they fed from the feeder. Laurel turned to the counter beside her and picked up her iPod. She set the playlist for shuffle and inserted it into the clock radio that she had sitting on the other side of the kitchen. Music always helped to move the job along and it made her happy.

Pressing play, her iPod began. "Love Game," by Lady Gaga blared through the speakers; not her most favorite song, but it will do in a pinch. Sliding back over to the sink, she began to bounce and move to the music as she started washing the load of dishes. Lady Gaga always brought a swing into her step as she blocked the world out, washing dishes.

The iPod continued to play as Laurel continued to wash more dishes. The shuffle would bring a couple of upbeat songs and then a slower one, creating a nice mix for the job. As the next song came on, Christoph could hear the music from his office. Curious, he quietly stepped from his office and poked his head into the kitchen where he saw Laurel dancing to the music as she washed the dishes. He leaned against the doorjamb and grinned as songs like, "Something in Your Mouth" by Nickelback and "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls played.

Christoph always loved watching Laurel get into her groove as she worked. She had a gracefulness and charm as she moved that he enjoyed watching. As he stood there watching her sway and bounce to the music, he tried to remember the last time he stopped to take in her beauty and charm. The years of work and family responsibilities seemed to consume his days. Today was no different when it came to work. However, standing there watching her sway to the music in her pale blue cotton sundress seemed to distract him. There was something about how she wore that dress and how it swayed to her movements that intrigued and excited him. Her sleek black hair, dark skin, and spunky personality made everything more exotic and pleasurable to him.

The song changed on the iPod and began playing "Run" by Snow Patrol. Laurel's mood seemed to change to the music. She stood there for a moment, staring out the window whilst the song played. Slowly, she began to sway to the music.

Drawn to the words of the song and the music, Christoph walked up to Laurel, drew in closely, spooning himself behind her as she continued to sway. Leaning into her, he breathed in Laurel's spicy yet intoxicating scent, and then placed a chaste kiss on her neck. Laurel's heart fluttered. She leaned her head back to rest on his chest, closed her eyes, and smiled. This was a nice change in Laurel's routine. It brought back so many great memories. "Mmm, this is nice," she said softly.

Christoph picked up quickly on Laurel's rhythm and they began to sway to the song together. He leaned in once again and made a trail of chaste kisses from Laurel's shoulder to the bottom of her ear where he gently took her earlobe into his mouth and sucked. Laurel shuddered with pleasure. Feeling his breath, lips, and mouth on her neck made her skin tingle.
The song changed once again, this time Janet Jackson sang, "Nasty Boy." Laurel began to press into Christoph. He worked himself against Laurel as she moved. Laurel then reached up with her right arm and grabbed Christoph's left shoulder, turning herself into him, never losing contact with his body or a step to the beat. This excited Christoph very much as he continued to grind himself into Laurel. Carefully, yet firmly, he moved his knee between her legs allowing her to straddle him in the dance. Their dancing turned into a fluid movement of one body bumping whilst the other grinded into the other.

Laurel watched as Christoph put one arm around her waist and the other hand on her chest. He gently nudged her into a backwards dip as he ran his hand down her body from neck to stomach. Laurel swayed backwards over Christoph's arm, following his lead as she pressed herself into his leg. She lost herself to the music and Christoph's touch. Her skin tingled everywhere he touched, almost as if this was their first touch. Her skin rippled with goose bumps and her nipples began to harden in anticipation as his fingers grazed the tops of her breasts.

Laurel came back up into Christoph's embrace. Both feeling the euphoria they had created in their dance, Christoph leaned in and found Laurel's lips and began to kiss her with more fervor. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth as he kissed her. Opening her mouth, a gasp escaped and their mouths found the momentum they both sought.

Lost in the moment, Christoph picked Laurel up by the waist and placed her on the counter top. As they kissed, he reached under her dress, sliding his hands slowly up her legs. Laurel startled for it had been so long since a flare of unkempt spontaneity enveloped them. She pulled back briefly, glimpsed Christoph, and gave him a coy smile. She wondered for just a moment whether this was just a tease or if Christoph would seriously continue this adventure. She hoped the latter.

Laurel loved Christoph’s straight dark brown tresses. She noticed that today he had pulled them back into a ponytail that exposed the scruff on his face. She loved when he let his beard grow for a few days before shaving. It gave him that rugged ruffian look that excited her naughty side. Seeing him right now was even sexier. He wore a white linen shirt, which had been unbuttoned down to his navel, exposing his beautifully sculpted tan chest. He had his sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the shirt fit loosely around his shoulders. His tan chinos fit nicely around his ass and had the cuffs turned up exposing his tan bare feet.

Laurel smiled with satisfaction as she looked deeply into his deep dark brown eyes. She reached into his shirt and began drawing trails over his already exposed chest. She made sure to trace every muscle, ridge, and bump of his chest and abdomen. Her touch caused his skin to flush and tingle. Laurel enjoyed watching as his nipples harden from her touch.

She continued her trail down to the last button still fastened on his shirt. Unfastening it, his shirt fell freely to his sides. Continuing the same trail, she proceeded to unbuckle and remove his belt. Next, she reached down to unzip his pants slowly and gingerly, making sure that he could feel her hand running down his length.

Christoph gasped, grinding himself into her hand. Laurel slid her hands back up to his chest, pushing his shirt from his shoulders. With his chest now completely exposed, she leaned into him and slowly began to kiss his chest. Approaching his nipple, she flicked her tongue over his nipple, sucked it into her mouth, and gently nibbled around it causing him to moan.

Christoph took Laurel's face in his hands and brought her up to his mouth. He kissed her long and hard, deepening his enthusiasm. His kisses traveled down her neck to her shoulder. Pushing the straps of her dress off her shoulders, he continued his trail of kisses until his lips found her breast. He flicked his tongue over her hard nipple and felt her shiver. He grinned to himself, knowing that his tongue aroused her. Placing his mouth over her nipple, he sucked and rolled his tongue across the top.

He reached under her dress, between her legs, grabbed her now very wet panties, and without haste ripped the crotch from them. He looked up into Laurel's eyes, grinned and said, "Oops, guess I'll have to buy you a new set." Laurel giggled and grabbed Christoph around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. As she kissed him again, Christoph let his pants fall to the floor, then reached under Laurel's ass, and squeezed. Laurel's breath caught as she looked down to see his very ready erection.

Laurel grinned; pointed with her eyes, and whispered, "Is that for me?"

Christoph laughed at her and said, "Why don't you slide over here and see." With that, he pulled her toward himself, sliding her to the edge of the counter. Gently, he pushed himself between her legs, slowly teasing her wet opening. Laurel's body began to buck as her desire for him heightened. All she wanted was for him to penetrate her.

Wrapping her legs around him, she began to gyrate, pushing herself onto Christoph. Raising and lowering her hips to his movement, she yearned, even panted for more of him.

Holding her ass tightly, he thrust his swollen member firmly and swiftly in to her core. With a scream of pure ecstasy, Laurel could no longer contain herself. Her body gave away her delight as it bucked to his thrust. Fiercely, Christoph dug his nails into Laurel's ass and began pounding into her core, deepening his push each time.

As Christoph continued to push deeper, the head of his shaft hammered into the back of her core sending Laurel rolling into a bone shattering orgasms. The pain of his nails dug deeply into her ass and the constant aggressive pounding exhilarated and excited Laurel. She turned the pain into ecstasy, and realized she really liked it.

Sweat now coated Christoph's chest and brow, tell tale signs he was nearing his climax. He slowed his thrust, allowing Laurel to feel every bit of his manhood as he thrust in and out. Laurel came again, screaming, “YES!!!” Laurel pursued Christoph more aggressively now by pumping herself on his cock. The tight pressure that Laurel's legs created around his waist while she pumped and her breasts pressed into his sweat-coated chest brought moans howling from Christoph's mouth. One last pump and thrust was his undoing as he climaxed and folded into Laurel.

Collapsing into each other's arms, completely spent, they each tried to catch their breath.

Both began to giggle softly as the reality of what just happened caught up with them. Taking Laurel's face in his hands once more, Christoph looked into her eyes and whispered softly, "Laurel, you are the most beautiful and charming person. I love you." He leaned in, finding Laurel’s mouth once again. Laurel felt his passion as his kiss lingered and became more intense before he finally released her.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #16 - I'm Sorry

How does one say, “I’m sorry” when all you have are words? You cannot express yourself with facial expressions, audible voice, trinkets, or touch, just written words.

Words written, put me where I am today. Words written, sunk deeply into the heart and mind of the ones I love. Words written to mean one thing may have been misstated or misunderstood. How does one make right what has been said?

Feelings, emotions, were the driving force behind the words. Did they speak out the correct meaning? Tears, sadness, loneliness, and rejection make one say things they do not mean. So often, we allow our emotions to speak before our brains kick in. Yet, when our emotions well up inside and everything comes to a head, don’t you wish you could clearly choose to hold your tongue until the dust settles? Sometimes the emotion stirs like a tornado and you speak out, hoping that you can throw the anchor out to find that one person who can anchor you.

Once the dust settles, the guilt presses in. Guilt makes one think unclearly too. In an effort to right wrongs said, we often tend to offend the ones we love.

Also, can you tell me, why do we often feel that negative emotions must bring us to a point of admitting that we should no longer be in this world? Am I so weak that I need to threaten the end to life just to feel better? Death is not the answer. Life is to be lived, WITH all its difficulties. What is it Friedrich Nietzsche said? “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

Now my words have been read and my pain subsided. Now I feel I have lost you. Perhaps it is just me, but I feel distance between us. How can I recover what we once had?

My hope is that “I’m sorry” is enough because that is all I have. Moreover, thank you for being there when my tornado blew through.

Thank you for being my anchor.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #15 - Rude Awakenings

Although the last couple of days have been, to say the least, depressing, I have great hopes for today. I spent the better part of yesterday and last night, rapt in my own creative juices, steeping in fun, good times. It helped to let go of what ever it was that seemed to bring me down over the past days. Last night, when I finally reached my limits and required sleep, I felt as if I had accomplished something. I knew this night was going to be restful.

Morning always seems to come so quickly, especially on the nights where you sleep all the way through without disruption. However, this morning I wasn’t awakened by alarms or husband. No, Jasper, our German Shepherd mutt woke us with a start as he attempted to vomit up what he had eaten the day before. Yes, you are right, disgusting! However, that’s not the end of my story… nope, there’s more.

Jasper is about eighteen or nineteen months old. He is still very much a pup. Albeit very well behaved and housebroken. He is a house-dog who sleeps in my room and sometimes thinks he belongs between my husband and me as we sleep. Often he decides that cuddling is meant for him as well and he’ll hop up onto our bed and attempt to cuddle with us should the notion arise.

One thing Jasper loves is to tear things apart. A dog toy might last a week with him if we’re lucky. However, we found out one day, that Jasper loves those cardboard tubes that you get after using a roll of paper towels or toilet paper. He takes them and shreds them into confetti. He knows them by the name “festive tubes”, which my husband so fondly named.

Lately, Jasper has sprinkled the house with confetti. Where he gets these tubes is beyond me. What a completely festive dog!

When Jasper gets a bit over zealous with his toys or tubes, he ends up eating some of it. That is when we get the rude awakening of him trying to bring up whatever it was that he ate the day before.

Now, we’ve become really good at hearing these random sounds and wake quite easily to run him outside before he actually retrieves whatever is in his stomach. This is my husband’s job because I don’t glide down the stairs quite as elegantly as he.

This morning was a bit more of a challenge. We heard the vomitus sounds and as usual jumped out of bed and rushed Jasper outside. However, when the husband returned, there was an unpleasant odor in the room. After accusing each other of the stench, I later realized the Jasper decided not to wake us in the middle of the night to tell us he needed to be taken outside. Usually, this sort of urgency doesn’t happen, unless he’s been eating the wrong, well shall we say, foods.

I was left alone to find the culprit stench. Yes, you guessed it, the mother lode was in my walk-in closet. I stood there staring at this pile wondering why it didn’t find my husband’s athletic bag, shoes, or his pants that he threw to the floor. No, he hit the middle of the closet room floor.

Why is it that we women are always on cleanup duty? When baby poops his diaper, we get the cleanup, spit up, again we get the cleanup. When DOG vomits, pees, or soils the carpet, we get the cleanup. Where's the fairness in that! I guess men are wimps and just don’t have the stomach. Well, you guessed it, I got cleanup!

Yes, this was my morning wake up call!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #14 - Angels Among Us

As a child, I seemed to be afraid of everything. The first fears I recollect were legitimate. I grew up when a notorious killer was on the loose and had serious nightmares of him. I woke many nights screaming because in my dreams he had killed my parents and was after my little brother. In my dream, blood was everywhere. The killer chased after my brother and me… and in the end, the part that made me scream, I watched him capture and kill my little brother.

I was one of those who, before bed, had a ritual. I would check under my bed and in my closet, looking for someone, anyone who could be hiding there. I shudder to think of what I would have done had I found someone. Once I found that all was clear, the closet door had to remain open all night, but I was set and ready for lights out. My parents would close our bedroom door every night, which compounded the darkness and my fears.

Too many nights, I would lay in bed, wide-eyed, searching the darkness for shadows. My imagination would run rampant; I would hear noises in the night. Finally, only from pure exhaustion, I would fall to sleep.

One night, I woke screaming. I had had one of my worst nightmares. It still sits in my memory decades later. On that night, my mother brought a bible opened it to some random page, placed it in my headboard and told me that Angels were there in my room watching over me. The Angels would protect me from any more bad dreams and they would keep the shadows away. I clung to that thought and fell fast asleep.

In fact, it was that thought that helped me through many of my fears. Even today, as a grown adult, I fear the darkness and I fear being alone. Call me crazy if you must, but those Angels are always here. They always help to ease my mind.

I think this is when the concept of Angels watching over me became reality in my life.

Now, I see that Angels come in different forms. Not only do they watch over me as I sleep, but they show themselves in forms as friends. I speak to them every day. They have an uncanny ability to know when I am down or just need an ear to listen. Although they are not physically with me, I feel their arms around me when I find that I need a hug. They reach out for me when I have become silent. Or just stop by to chat.

Oft times, I must admit, I feel as though I may burn my Angels out with my mood swings and fears. However, one day, an Angel asked me, “Do you tire from being leaned on by others? You see,” continued my Angel, “You are an Angel to many, including me. Do you tire of us?”

Of course, I’ve never thought of myself as an angel. However, I replied from my heart with a reverberating NO! “You see,” I explained, “I understand the emotions all too well and therefore feel the need to be there whenever needed. I love to help a friend in need. If I lift a friend's spirits, or help to calm their savage beast just a little, I feel complete.”

My Angel smiled at me, or at least I imagined so, I could see it as she typed. “Then why do you think any less of us? We love to help you when you need it and we feel complete when we’ve lifted your spirits, or calmed your savage beast.”

“I can’t help but worry that you’ll tire of me and leave.” I replied.

That is when I realized that there are different types of angels. Some only touch our lives but for a moment as they move on to the place where they are most useful. Others, fall into our lives, never to leave. There aren’t many that stay, but when they do, it is so nice to know they are always there no matter what.

I wonder if Angels tire of us asking them if they tire of us. If I were an Angel, I would always answer no. Are all angels the same?

I am so thankful for the Angels in my life!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #13 - Paranoid

Every morning is the same. I wake, check my phone for messages, get up, and head to the bathroom. It seems a bit mundane, this ritual of sorts. But, routine helps a blurry-eyed work-a-holic who spends too many hours awake.

My bathroom dons a wall-sized mirror, passage to a walk in closet, see through shower doors, and of course the water closet. I can traverse this room with my eyes closed, which I tend to do most days.

Today like every other day, I leave a trail of clothing from my bed to the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom, start the shower, and then brush my teeth. While my brush is in my mouth and toothpaste runs down my chin, my imagination gives me a stir. Suddenly I feel as if someone is watching me. My heart races as I look around the room. No one is there but me. Taking in a deep breath, I calm myself and continue brushing my teeth.

Steam fills the room, the mirror fogs. There it is again. The hair on the back of my neck pricks up. I sense someone is watching me. I look around the room, but see only my own reflection in the mirror. What a strange and irksome feeling. I think to myself, “I must be paranoid. There is nobody here.” I shake my head as if trying to shake a tangible feeling from my mind.

As I walk toward the shower, I turn the fan on to clear the steam. There are two fans in my bathroom, so I use them both. “Oh. My. God,” I think to myself. My mind runs rampant with paranoid thoughts of hidden cameras. I look in the fan cages, under the sink, or anywhere else that I can think. Tugging on the mirror, I find that it is securely glued to the wall. The only way to check behind it is to break the mirror. Each day I consider this possibility.

Water still running and now very hot, I step into the shower and try to ignore my paranoia. One last place I need to check, I look down the shower drain. I feel so exposed right now behind the clear glass doors. I stand in the hot stream of water trying to relax. Breathe in breathe out. “Relax, there’s now one here but you.” I tell myself.

The water melts away the worry and my mind is once again at peace. I laugh at myself for the stupidity. Boy, do I feel stupid.

Shower done, water is off. I step out of the shower and retrieve my towel. This time I hear a sound. I gasp! What the hell was that? I quickly wrap my towel around me. The mirror now completely fogged up. The fans both are running. Perhaps I just hear the fan. Curious.

Drying off quickly, I exit my bathroom to get dressed. “Perhaps I need therapy,” I say to myself while I search for clothes to wear. “Or maybe next time I’ll bring a screwdriver and a rock.”

Some days are not so bad. I follow the same routine, but instead of fearing what probably is not there, I speak loudly and say, “It’s your eyes… don’t blame me for what you see!” I laugh and continue with my daily routine.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Napkin Scrawls #12 - My Best Friend

My Best Friend

I meet new people everyday,
Who easily call me friend.
Cordially we jest, fritter, and obsess;
And just as quickly we move on,
Our lives remain the same.

One day, we met by chance,
I figured you the same.
In and out so quickly
Jesting, obsessing, and frittering life away.

But on that fateful day
You stepped into my life,
You saw something I could never see
A friend who would hold on tight.

You saw through the many masks of me,
And understood what made me tick.
Feeling broken and insecure
Your friendship shows me strength.

Reaching out you showed me kindness.
With a bond I cannot explain;
Our friendship has grown deep,
Perhaps you are the other half of me.

We’ve never touched or seen each other
Yet you always seem to know when I am sad
By the keystrokes, I invoke.

Just me on this side and you over there.
Our souls just connect.

You will always be
My best friend forever.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Napkin Scrawls #11 - Blank Emotion

Swirling, swirling, swirling. Flailing, flitting, whirling. My thoughts escape me. Fleeting, flitting, scampering away. Not one remains. Panic ensues as I sit here grasping for a memory, a thought, anything. But, nothing stays.

There is nothing behind the eyes. No thought, no emotion, blank. Exhaustion fills me.

All is at a loss as I stare blankly before me.

A tear emerges, spilling over the blank face, leaving a trail of moisture as it falls. And then, another.

Music on, eyes now closed, music fills me now with it’s own emotion. Soft swirling, emotion fills my mind as the strings strum, the keys pound, the horns blare. Like a shot in the arm or an electric current, my heart begins to pound… I take a breath. And then, another.

Life emerges as music promotes new emotion.

Breathe in breathe out.

Is it enough? Will it carry me through the day? Only time can tell.

No longer completely blank, I look to you for happy joyful thoughts. Something, anything to hold life for me, as I continue through my day.

Tiredness still abounds, but sadness is fleeting now. It’s time to catch a second wind in the sails of my day.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #10 - Remember When...

As I stand in my shower, my fortress of solitude if you will, my memory is a flood of “Remember Whens.” Who knows why this topic astounds me…

Remember when…
You woke to the sound your little brother crawling to the bathroom because he couldn’t walk with his braces on his feet? The braces were to help straighten his knees, but you laugh because he still runs like Forest Gump.

Remember when…
You kissed a boy on the school bus when in Kindergarten. First love of your life, first kiss besides your mother. Kenny, never could put his shoes on the correct feet.

Remember when…
You and your brother collected toads and kept them in the milk box outside on the porch. The milkman hated us that day when he delivered milk and freed the toads.

Remember when…
The neighbor twins came over to play with said toads and decided to see if toads flew. Mom was not happy to have toad splat on her roof.

Remember when…
At six years old, your family picked up stakes and moved to a place where you knew nobody. Sucked!

Remember when…
After moving into new home, neighbor girls came over to meet you. They didn’t care for your brother too much … which was fine because neither did you.

Remember when…
While at Oma’s ranch, Opa was milking cows when you and your brother decided to run through the troughs. The cows were not too pleased with the interruption and Opa didn’t care for getting kicked.

Remember when…
You took matches into a dry field, next to a creek, with your brother. That was fun until the retired fireman/farmer came and insisted upon frisking us because he KNEW I had matches. Lucky for me, our Aunt and Uncle arrived in the nick of time.

Remember when…
You got so sick of your brother that you threw darts at him when he wasn’t looking. *evil grin*

Remember when…
The darts stuck in him.

Remember when…
You threw a broom at your brother and Mom saw the hole in the wall… Oops.

Remember when…
You thought it was cool to cuss… but now you can’t because it speaks your emotions on so many levels.

Remember when…
You stood up to the class bully because he was picking on your best friend. Thanks Mom for teaching me how to kick between the legs. He never looked at me the same.

Remember when…
You played “Truth or Dare” and “Dare” was what all the boys would pick for you.

Remember when…
You played “Truth or Dare” you always picked “Dare” once for them and “Truth” the rest of the time, because we all know that once you’ve seen it, you don’t need to see it again.

Remember when…
You met your trumpet teacher and all you could do was stare at his lips.

Remember when…
You took your trumpet teacher out to dinner. He wouldn’t ask you, so you made the first move.

Remember when…
You and your trumpet teacher got married and while on the first night of your honeymoon, you got a crank call whilst in the throws of passion.

Remember when…
Nine years later, your first son was born. And almost two years after that, your second arrived.

Hmm, the memories do astound me…

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #9 - 25-Years

Sleep, sleep is all I want. So peaceful, so calm, so… nothing.

Waking only brings sadness. Waking brings loneliness. Waking brings duty.

Maybe there is more in sleep than I remember. Maybe there is no sadness, loneliness, or responsibility. In my sleep, you are always there beside me.

Today should be a happy day, a day to rejoice, and a day to celebrate our love. But, its not. It’s just another day, full of a list of things to be done. I’m tired.

I awaken to find you missing. I know where you’ve gone, but I need you. I miss your touch, your warm embrace. I miss your kisses.

Has time brought us to this impasse? Has responsibilities brought us to never touch again? Are we so old that assumption is our best friend?

I miss you. I miss how you once looked at me. I miss that I was once the center of your world. Am I still?

You have seen me cry and you have made me laugh. You are my lifeline when things grow dark. You have seen me raw and afraid. You have been my strength, my comfort. You have always been mine. My true love.

The years have grown on us, changed us I fear. But, deep inside, I’m still the same. Inside I am just a young girl needing love and acceptance. The years have only buried deep that young girl, protected her from hurt and disappointment. The years have buried deep that young girl in bittersweet memories and what-ifs.

I cry tears of sadness and joy thinking of you. I miss you. I love you.

Young love, come back to me. Shed that chrysalis that protects your heart. Burn brightly once again.

This day so many years ago, I made a commitment to you my love. To have and to hold, to love, honor, and obey through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. These words still hold strong in my heart!

The years are a blur, but never once have I regretted saying those words. You have stayed by my side through it all. I smile because that, in and of itself, shows your commitment to me.

Today, reminded again of my commitment to you, I ponder renewing it once again. The vows don’t fade. They don’t lose their strength of binding. But, I renew them in my heart and mind to you.

Come back to us young love. Show us newness, a fresh rekindling of our love.

Touch me, embrace me, and kiss me once again, my love. Show me once again why I no longer want to sleep.

I love you.