Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #9 - 25-Years

Sleep, sleep is all I want. So peaceful, so calm, so… nothing.

Waking only brings sadness. Waking brings loneliness. Waking brings duty.

Maybe there is more in sleep than I remember. Maybe there is no sadness, loneliness, or responsibility. In my sleep, you are always there beside me.

Today should be a happy day, a day to rejoice, and a day to celebrate our love. But, its not. It’s just another day, full of a list of things to be done. I’m tired.

I awaken to find you missing. I know where you’ve gone, but I need you. I miss your touch, your warm embrace. I miss your kisses.

Has time brought us to this impasse? Has responsibilities brought us to never touch again? Are we so old that assumption is our best friend?

I miss you. I miss how you once looked at me. I miss that I was once the center of your world. Am I still?

You have seen me cry and you have made me laugh. You are my lifeline when things grow dark. You have seen me raw and afraid. You have been my strength, my comfort. You have always been mine. My true love.

The years have grown on us, changed us I fear. But, deep inside, I’m still the same. Inside I am just a young girl needing love and acceptance. The years have only buried deep that young girl, protected her from hurt and disappointment. The years have buried deep that young girl in bittersweet memories and what-ifs.

I cry tears of sadness and joy thinking of you. I miss you. I love you.

Young love, come back to me. Shed that chrysalis that protects your heart. Burn brightly once again.

This day so many years ago, I made a commitment to you my love. To have and to hold, to love, honor, and obey through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. These words still hold strong in my heart!

The years are a blur, but never once have I regretted saying those words. You have stayed by my side through it all. I smile because that, in and of itself, shows your commitment to me.

Today, reminded again of my commitment to you, I ponder renewing it once again. The vows don’t fade. They don’t lose their strength of binding. But, I renew them in my heart and mind to you.

Come back to us young love. Show us newness, a fresh rekindling of our love.

Touch me, embrace me, and kiss me once again, my love. Show me once again why I no longer want to sleep.

I love you.

1 comment:

Nessa_luvs_EB said...

*weeps* That is all.