Sunday, May 2, 2010

Napkin Scrawl #7 -Storm Beneath the Calm

LOBSTER RED! That’s what color my backside is right now, LOBSTER RED! Soaking in a “hot-as-you-can-stand-it” shower for 30-minutes will do that to you. I needed something to calm my mind, my body, from getting all worked up for the past 2-hours.

Rewind the day and picture pretty butterflies flitting through the air… NO! Not that kind of butterfly! The cartoon kind of butterfly! Yeah, that’s right! Now, cue the music, "Ranz Des Vaches", from Gioacchino Rossini's William Tell Overture. I am certain everyone has heard this most wonderful piece of music!

My day started peaceful, happy, even keeled. I spent my day reading email, tweeting, shouting out orders like a sergeant in the military to my children. All is well, in my universe… I think.

Fast forward a few hours… kids are sitting behind me playing the most annoying game in the universe. It repeats the music over and over and over… NEVER once does the song change. Never once does the rhythm change. It’s fucking mind numbing! I digress… So now, there is an undertone of “Super Smash Brothers” with both boys talking at the same time, with intervals of yelling.

I’m proud of myself. I’ve maintained a calmness up to this point, even though I am beginning to feel the pressure rise inside my head. I sit quietly, focusing on my work, creating one page for the fourth time, knowing that this time will be the last time I have to redesign.

Finally, without skipping a beat I order the boys to shut down their game console and get out of my office… Whew! They’re gone now, resume tranquility!

More peace and quiet ensues when all the men folk in my house evacuated to their party destinations, leaving me alone with only my dog. Trust me, even Jasper knew that I would allow nothing to screw up my day.

Actually, this all sounds boring… but actually, it was nice having a boring day. No obligations, just sitting here consumed with getting stuff done. Butt numbing to say the least.

I am what many would call a “High-Bandwidth Broad.” I have a cell phone, Skype, MSN, Yahoo Messenger, Twitter, Blogs, emails… you name it, I have it! I was always afraid I’d miss out on something. To some degree, perhaps I still am afraid I’ll miss out. Today, I should have shut it all down!

Oh. My. God!

First, one-client left me messages on Skype, which I purposely ignored, then another client logged onto Skype. My heart skipped a beat because I had a job I was suppose to have done days ago for her and hadn’t, so I rushed to get that job spinning. Then I get a Skype call from first client. She wants to know how her stuff is going. We had discussed all this previously, I had it all set up to do, but she rang to tell me she needed changes! Ugh!

Meanwhile, I’m developing server issues on my other client’s job. Mail server malfunction! My job comes to a screeching halt.

Everything requires attention all at the same time. Twitter, email, text messages, Skype, Msn, husband, children, and the dog, all sound off at the same time. Oh. My. God. But, God forbid that I miss a thing!

All peace dissipates, poof, gone!

I can feel the pressure increase… blood pulsates behind my eyes. Heartbeat pounds in my ears, shoulders tense so tight they feel like they’ll snap.

I snap.

Expletive upon expletive erupts from my mouth, like Iceland’s recent volcanic eruption. Even the walls begin to shake in fear of my anger. Maybe it was when I punched the wall that they shook.

If I were a cartoon character, my face would turn red, my ears would blow out steam and the top of my head would blow off. Thank goodness, I’m not a cartoon!

There was only one thing to be done. Step away from the computer. Step away from everything. So, I did. I felt like running! But running accomplishes nothing. Instead, I decided that hot soak in the shower could help, and it did. I turned that water up full blast, and put it as hot as I could stand. Leaning against the shower wall, I let the heat melt away the tension.

My mind is numb now. My eyes are heavy. But, most importantly, my peace is back.

The moral here is this, “In order to eat an elephant, one must take one bite at a time.”

1 comment:

Nessa_luvs_EB said...

I wanna be a butterfly flitting about with this tune......just being carefree.....enjoying life from flower to flower....a peace....a calm.... *sigh*